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So my phone was turned off today, and I'm kind of enjoying it! No hassle or annoying people calling me... if I want to talk to anyone I find away to call them! And I don't even feel like being on the computer! :) So this is my blog today! :)

Music = Love

When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears 

It was easy to see that you'd been crying Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns 

But who really profits from the dying

I could hold you in my arms

I could hold you forever

I could hold you in my arms

I could hold you in my arms forever 

When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions

It's my worried mind that you quiet 

Place your hands on my face 

Close my eyes and say 

Love is a poor man's food 

Don't prophesize 

I could hold you in my arms 

I could hold you forever 

And I could hold you in my arms 

I could hold you forever 

So now we see how it is 

This fist begets the spear 

Weapons of war 

Symptoms of madness 

Don't let your eyes refuse to see 

Don't let your ears refuse to hear 

Or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness 

I could hold you in my arms 

I could hold on forever 

And I could hold you in my arms 

I could hold forever --- 

RAY LAMONTAGNE

SuMmEr TiMe FuN!!

Here's a list of 50 things I plan to do over the summer!

1. Write a letter to a distant relative.
2. Take A road trip.
3. Go to a Rangers game.
4. Start Photography.
5. Make a 7 corse meal.
6. Compare a book to a movie.
7. Write a Poem.
8. Learn about something interesting.
9. Bake some cookies with a new recipe.
10. Learn to drive a boat.
11. Take a pottery class.
12. Do some community service.
13. Research my family tree.
14. Take a walk and record the sounds.
15. Make sure I blog everyday.
16. Put together a puzzle and frame it.
17. Go backpacking for a weekend.
18. Float on a river.
19. Go to the Zoo for the first time.
20. Teach myself a foreign language.
21. Start to recycle.
22. Raise money for a small charity.
23. Attend a concert.
24. Read a new book series.
25. Go to a Museum.
26. Have a Garage Sale
27. Go to the beach.
28. Tye-Dye a bunch of clothes.
29. Make homemade ice cream.. mmm with peaches! 
30. Do a scavenger hunt.
31. Go camping.
32. Learn to play chess.
33. Swim with dolphins.
34. Vegetarian for a week.
35. Finish a painting.
36. Train for a marathon.
37. Watch a new TV series.
38. Spend all day in the movie theater.
39. Get a new tattoo and piercing.
40. Sew a T-shirt Blanket.
41. Have a mathon of black n white movies.
42. Host a rootbeer float party.
43. Find a new hobby.
44. Decorate my new place.
45. Play the lottery.
46. Mentor at the boys and girls club.
47. Learn to wakeboard.
48. Go on a cruise.
49. Paint my dresser.
50. Handmake something.

I will be taken pictures of all of these and posting them to check them off.

I encourage others to do this!! :) 

My Look-A-Like

Tell me what you think... 

do you agree with everyone else when they say this is my twin! :) 

Be Strong

The past month has me spinning.

Right-Left-Up-Down

Testing my emotions is something I am unfamiliar with.

I don't typically wrestle with them to protect myself.

I tend to take my emotions out of things.

I relentlessly store them away in hopes that I won't have to "soften"

or feel pain. I am a constant victim of my past and dwell on what could 

go wrong with every single situation.

In a way is it my defense mechanism.

Another way for me to maintain complete control over my future.

If I have learned one thing this week,

it is that a life worth living involves taken risks.

BIG risks.

When it comes to matters of the heart, I tend to run in the opposite direction.

Just knowing that something could not work out or that I could 

get my heartbroken is enough for me to resist it with all that I have.

I've played it safe most of my life, or tired. 

But I am starting to figure out that I will never truly "feel" if I don't take a chance on things. 

I have been told to "Let Go" and see what happens one million times in life.

We weren't put on this earth to run from our fears and play it safe.

In order for something great to happen, you have to give it a chance to.

No one have ever won anything sitting on the sidelines.

-So here is to the future, for taken risks and letting go-

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

PiNg-PoNg

The last few things have been written to make sense of this whirlwind I call my life. 

A time for me to sink my teeth into everything and get to the core of my purpose here.

Over the last few days, I feel immersed in a game of ping pong with "optimism" as my opponent. 

Life has given me challenges at work and in my relationships with others consistently this week, 

but for some reason i keep being "served" a dose of 'optimism".

I feel such a sense of calm. 

relief. 

tranquility. 

A state where the optimism is winning, but I am okay with it. 

perhaps talking with loved ones have pushed me to finally believing in myself 

and i recognize the opportunities that surround me.

 I am feeling rather sanguine about it all really. 

For I know I am not alone in this struggle to find myself. 

My niche. 

My passion.

-Afraid-

I was afraid.

I was afraid to get my heartbroken again

Like before, because you hurt me so bad

I was afraid to be vulnerable

I was afraid of you and the way you make me feel

The things I've done or the way I've acted

There is never an excuse for them

But this is the way I've spent all my

time away from you is writing about you

because I LOVE YOU!

Psalm 48:14

For this God is our God for ever and ever;

He will be our guide even to the end.

Mistakes, Faults, Bad Choices

The Latin term mea culpa - means “through my fault.”

Everyone makes mistakes. 

But it seems that everyone is also obsessed with making sure no one knows about them. 

Maybe it’s time to take responsibility and earn respect.

 Making mistakes makes you human, 

and owning up to them earns you respect and maybe even show you are endearing.

(not to sure I used that in the right context) 

However, 

never admitting responsibility for a mistake is another way to admit that you value your own “image” more than you do the welfare of another person!

If people spent as much time and energy admitting their mistakes as soon as they are made, 

instead of trying justifying their bad decisions and figuring out how to dodge the responsibility, 

everything would be easier!

When I comes to the point to where you have to straighten out the mess you have caused,

others should understand that it wears you down inside and out. 

Not only have you been beating yourself up but it's been killing you to make it all right.

Times like these are hard.

Hard to ask the people you love for the forgiveness your hoping for, 

but forgiving yourself for all of the mistakes you have made.

Everyone makes bad decisions some worse then others but it seems like the 

consequences are all equal in someones eyes.

No matter what it is the people who love you will look past your problems

and forgive you for the faults you have made.




Luke 6:37
Do Not judge, and you will not be judged. 
Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.
Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Day 1--First Blog

I'm going to start this off simple...

Just till I can get it all set up! :) 

Hopefully you guys will follow my blog! 

“Two years ago, I was afraid of wanting anything.

I figured wanting would lead to trying and trying would lead to failure.

But now I find that I can’t stop wanting.

I want to fly somewhere in first class.

I want to travel to Europe on a business trip.

I want to get invited to the White House.

I want to learn about the world.

I want to surprise myself.

I want to be important.

I want to be the best person that I can be.

I want to define myself instead of having others define me.

I want to win, and have people be happy for me,

I want to lose and get over it.

I want to not be afraid of the unknown.

I want to grow up to be generous and big hearted, the way that people have been with me.

I want an interesting and surprising life.

It’s not that I think I’m going to get all of these things,

I just want the possibility of getting them.